If you love someone and cut yourself off from that love you DO have for this person you are hurting yourself. Love is unconditional and forgives everything. Our hearts need to expand to that level of love God has for us which is unconditional. And where there is love there is no fear, just love. There is no fear of being cheated, abandoned, hurt or anything. True love says you can do whatever you want and I will still love you with all my heart and if you choose to love me back, how wonderful will that be. Love is testing us. We will feel the glory AND the pain of it. It is not for the faint of heart. Love can crucify you and lift you up and ultimately unite you with God. Nobody ever will love you like God does and nobody is perfect. ANY other person will hurt you eventually because no one is perfect. My suggestion to you is to be very, very honest with yourself. Is it true, that you still love this person? If this is so, dismantle the walls and conditions you have built to keep yourself from feeling that love. Allow your own truth to shine in your heart. You have to be true to yourself or you are cheating yourself and nobody else. YOU will always know this truth despite any attempt to cover up this pain with distractions, other men, alcohol, drugs or WHATEVER people do to NOT feel what they REALLY feel out of fear and hurt. The pain in your heart is part of your growth, allow it to be there, it will make you more mature and THEN allow the love to shine brighter than that pain. Invite your true strong beautiful spirit self to come fully into your heart and let yourself know that you are safe and loved by God, your own God-Self, able to forgive easily, graciously and that there never will be a lack of love and the more you give the more will flow back to you.
Everybody makes mistakes and involuntarily hurts others or makes poor choices or just needs an experience. We are all only beginners in the school of love and you are never alone no matter what you do. Love does not protect from potential or projected future pain. It simply LOVES and IS.
Whatever you choose choose honesty in your own heart. Let your HEART make the decision about love. The mind knows nothing about it. Trust your heart, accept past, present and potential future pain, but your heart can only be happy in its own truth! Love is truth. Love is the divine law.
Much love and blessings to you and feel free to share with me your thoughts, if you wish.